


Psycho Child

by BubblyShip



Series: CreepyPasta x Undertale [9]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Creepy, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, F/M, Good W. D. Gaster, Insane Children - Freeform, Jealous Toriel (Undertale), M/M, Murder, Murderers, One-Sided Attraction, Parent Sans (Undertale), Protective Sans (Undertale), Serial Killers, Single Parents, Stalking, Watching Someone Sleep, creepy child, its okay sans still loves her, no actual abortion, papyrus gives up for a bit, psycho child, sans child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29319444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblyShip/pseuds/BubblyShip
Summary: It’s typical for Sans to have one nighters. He isn’t a guy for commitment, always has been a little scared of that, afraid he’d settle into the wrong relationship. And that’s fine. He’s upfront about this, each and every time. People are fine with it. As long as Sans is happy.One of these one nighters, though, left Sans with an extra… addition. He got pregnant.And, afterwards, discovered he got pregnant with a kid of a serial killer.Whoops.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Laughing Jack/Sans (Undertale), Sans/Toriel (Undertale)
Series: CreepyPasta x Undertale [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649944
Comments: 7
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

Skeletons could get pregnant. That was something Sans knew. Monsters, no matter what gender, could get pregnant with soul births. Easier to carry, easier to abort. Sans himself didn’t care if anyone aborted or not. Your body, not his. Personally, he probably would have, too.

But that was a little detail of monster pregnancies. If you had enough magic, you didn’t feel the draining of a soul. Which meant, if you weren’t careful, you wouldn’t find out until the kid was actually born.

Yeha, whoops. Sans messed up.

He might not have aborted them, he might of. It really depended on how he had felt if he had found out. Which he didn’t.

Soul births weren’t anything like human births. It didn’t take hours, or even minutes. It was just “poof”, then baby. One moment he had been watching T.V, the next, baby.

Sans watched the little girl chew on her fingers, babbling inconsistent mumbles of random sounds. Yikes. Sans mentioned it’d be cool to be a parent, yeah, but that was once and five years ago. He didn’t even have a nursery in his house, much less a spare room! Was he even capable of being a parent? Raising a child with love and support they needed? Toriel was, but Sans wasn’t sure if he could. If he was ready. Finances were fine, but adding a second mouth to Sans’ expenses would drain his savings fast. The girl cooed again, sharp teeth grinding onto her fingernails. He could do a late abortion, but that’d just be murder at this point. Abortions happened to the souling before they developed their sense of emotions and life, usually only a few days before they were actually born. She already had her body.

Again, whoops.

Toriel was contacted first, obviously. She was the child obsessed one of the group; if anyone knew kids, it was her.

“Pregnant,” Sans had muttered when he opened the door, staring at the woman with wide eye sockets.

“Oh, you’re pregnant?” Toriel asked, “Oh dear. I know how you feel about that, and I could suggest a good abortion center if you want. But if you’re willing to carry the soul, you could contact the parent and perhaps set up something.”

“No.” Sans opened the door, pointing to the kid. “I _was_ pregnant. And I didn’t know.”

That’s how he ended up here. With Toriel, staring at the child with an undeterminable look. After a minute passed, crawling through it’s slow pace, finally did she turn and look at him.

“This is a problem indeed,” She said lightly.

The child clearly had some details taken from whoever the other parent was. Sharp teeth, sharp, yet big and oddly adorable, eyes.

“You didn’t check yourself, not even once?” Toriel asked.

“Didn’t think I needed to,” Sans said, “I hadn’t even been busy for the last four months in bed, so at least I have a general idea of who the Dad is.”

The child blabbered some more.

“Other than that worrying dry spell, what are you going to do with her? You aren’t prepared in the slightest, and none of us could take her in since we’re all busy. I wish I could, but -”  
  
“Ya already got your own kids and your kids at your job. I know, I wouldn’t ask you of that anyway,” Sans said, holding out his hand. “Alphys and Undyne are busy with work and each other, and Paps has his restaurants.”

Everyone had moved on so much since Underground, haven’t they? Everyone had jobs, lives, everything. Heck, even Frisk managed to bring back Chara, Asriel, and Gaster. There was a lot of tears sobbed that day. It felt nice now. Peaceful and calm. A little boring, but he was quite underprepared for something like this.

“Should you try to contact the Father?” Toriel asked.

“It was a one nighter at that carnival, some dude dressed up as a clown. Didn’t work there, either. So I don’t know what he looks like without the clown makeup or outfit. It’d be a dead end.” Sans tapped his chin, looking at her. “I don’t want to ask my Dad for help, since he’s also busy with the lab. He said he’s always wanted grandkids, but I think he’d understand that I need to be prepared for the grandchildren.”

“I believe he’d be fine with that as well. I guess you’ll be putting her up for adoption then?”

“I guess. Got no better choices. I might be able to take her back, but after I get prepared for a kid.”

As if she could understand what they were saying, the baby suddenly dropped her happy expression, whining and reaching out for Sans. He’d like to care for her, but he wasn’t prepared to be a parent at all. He needed time to save money, find a house that would work, see if he was a good parent. Nothing would be worse for the kid than keeping her and forcing her into a terrible life. He couldn’t do that to her.

“Gug guh!” She whined, flailing her tiny arms towards him.

“I know, I’m sorry, should’a prepared more,” Sans said to her, looking down at his child sadly.

~~~~~~~

If Sans had been checking his soul, maybe he would have been a little more excited for her birth. But it was too sudden to expect anything but this. Surprise, shock.

Until the moment he picked up his child. Sans almost wanted to cry.

Their souls had been connected for four months, so naturally physical contact reunited them together, showing their bond as family. He’d take her back in, he settled on that decision the moment he held her close to his chest, knowing that yes, this is his child and he did love her. But he needed time. Needed to find a room for her, prepare himself mentally as a Father.

However, that did _not_ go as planned.

Trying to give her over to the orphanage was impossible. Because she put those sharp teeth to use. He was trying to be responsible, goddammit, but she wouldn’t let him! It was known that monster children were naturally more connected to their parents, but biting everything else?

She was like a mini piranha. No one was given mercy. Trying to give her over resulted in crying, flailing, and sharp snapping. Only when she almost tore off a persons finger did Sans call it quits, immediately apologizing and abandoning the idea.

He loved her. He really did. And that was why he had to have someone responsible raise her until he could settle down a game plan. Frankly, he only found out he was a parent an hour ago, that was not an accurate time frame in the slightest to prepare for a child.

He drummed against his steering wheel, watching her roll around on the dashboard. Frankly, he wasn’t even sure how she got up onto there.

“You sure are something else, kiddo,” He sighed. She giggled, happily.

So setting her up for foster care wasn’t even an option. If he had known about the pregnancy, and decided to keep the kid, then he wouldn’t be having this problem! He’d already be prepared, already have a good house in mind!

“Hey.”

A muffled voice came through his window, and he turned to find his Dad, knocking against the glass.

“You wanna talk inside?” Gaster asked.

They talked a lot that day. About what Sans wanted. About what plans he could come up with. Gaster was a smart man. He managed to raise both Sans and Papyrus while building the core, so clearly he had a better understanding of raising a child than Sans did. They talked for a long time, about a lot of things. And, at the dawn of a sunset, they closed the conversation with a soft smile.

“We’ll get through this,” Gaster had said softly, “We’ve gotten through everything.”


	2. Chapter 2

The first few days flew in a time warp, so fast Sans barely processed it. A name was found, Bean, and he liked it. Not very fonty, but Sans liked it. They found baby clothes and set up a nursery in Sans’ office. It was small, but until they found a new house, it’d do.

Bean was certainly a hassle, though. Besides Sans, no one else could hold her, less the threat of being bitten. And she wouldn’t eat any food offered, not unless it was sugary. Skeletons didn’t need any diets, so they complied, though Papyrus grumbled under his breath about bad habits forming. Sans laughed it off. As long as she was eating.

Everyone loved her, so Sans didn’t have to worry about that, at least. Despite the sudden addition to the skeleton family, they managed to pull through. He would have preferred she appeared when he was prepared and wanting, but he loved her nevertheless. She was a precious little beanie baby.

Bean was admittedly adorable. She liked to bite things. But it didn’t take long at all before they saw some concerning traits. She sometimes just appeared near Sans. Papyrus looked away for a second and called Sans in a panic, only for Sans to turn and see her somehow on his bed. Her magic was developed already. She was going to be a strong monster.

Time passed. They bought her toys and created a more in depth plan for her and Sans. She’d go to Toriel’s school when she was old enough, and in the meantime, Gaster, Toriel, and Asgore would help teach Sans how to be a parent. How to look out for danger. Simple tips and tricks. He learned a lot from them, and time passed.

He adored Bean. Carried her everywhere he went. And showed her the Office, because he was going to raise her right. Candy was always her meals, and Sans had a sneaking suspicion someone was either giving her more, or she was somehow finding it inside of the house.

"I love you!" Sans hummed, holding Bean up inside the air above him.

"Gaha!" She gurgled, "Huh!"

"Aw," Sans chuckled. Toby Fox did he love her.

More time passed. Handling the baby practically confined Sans to the house. Until they could figure out a way to stop her from biting people, he'd stick with her inside of the house.

She was freaking adorable. He couldn't get over it. Do you know how many baby pictures they all took? She was precious! Even with the biting thing.

She learned to walk, learned to speak, and time pressed forward in it's march. Her first word was "French fry". Sans laughed for a solid twenty minutes when it happened.

Bean eventually went to preschool, and making friends was hard for her. Sans went with her, watching his daughter play in her own, weird way. She had a violent twist to everything she did. Every time she played doll, they always were kidnapped, burned at the stake for being a watch, or she chewed off their head. Sometimes all three happened in the same playtime. And during the first day of preschool, it was no different.

Bean just didn't have any self control with her dark play style. She managed to make half of the children cry within the first ten minutes. He ended up taking her home early.

The next few weeks went about the same way. Sans would drop her off, she'd end up scaring her classmates, then go home without making any friends. At least she didn't bite any of Sans' friends anymore, and she didn't bite unless provoked. Or angered. Ot annoyed. Or hungry. Or -

Yeah, safe to say she probably wasn't ready for making friends yet. But she couldn't be homeschooled, Sans had a job! As much as he loved her, she had to learn how to talk to people without threatening them.

One day was bad, apparently. Bean's birthday, to be specific. In the preschool, kids were supposed to sing and celebrate. Bean just threw candy at people and ended up in timeout, a usual at this point. She was oddly quiet in the car, legs folded as she sat with her head down.

“Daddy?” She sniffed lightly, looking up with tear stained eye sockets. “Why don’t I have any friends?”

“Oh, no, sweetie.” The moment the car had stopped, Sans quickly turned towards her. “I’m sorry.”

“I have no one to invite to my birthday party,” Bean said, “I wanted to bring some kids to the carnival but they’re all scared of me. And not even in the fun way! They just throw things at me and then tell Ms. Toriel I attacked them. And I don’t half of the time! They're all stupid and dumb.”

That had Sans calling Toriel with problems of bullying. Lord, he never expected to be a concerned parent calling about bullying, but here he was. He’d probably throw all of those kids off of a cliff if he could. But he knew, logically, that the bullying was also prompted from Bean’s own bullying. So he’d apparently have to attend some stupid bullying classes with Bean. It was the schools rule.

Her birthday party went off fine with all of their friends. They went to a carnival, and despite her lack of friends from her class, it went quite well. They played games and sung, and Bean received mounds and mounds of candy as presents. It was the only kind of present she actually would like. Not to mention, when she ate candy her mouth was too busy to bite, so that also worked in their favor.

“Did ya have fun, kiddo?” Sans asked.

“Mhm!” Bean had said, “I met a clown! He was funny!”

“That’s cool,” Sans hummed, and the day ended with a happy Bean.

Sans was forced to attend the bullying meeting at the school after work. All of the other parents had about the same expression Sans did. Crossed arms, annoyed faces, wanting to leave much like he would. The only one who was really snobby was this woman named Karen. Fuck Karen. She was unpleasant to no end. Sans acknowledged his daughter was probably part piranha, but Karen thought her little Timmy was perfect. He was not. Sans would roundhouse kick that brat if he could. It became usual, during meetings, for Karen and Sans to make stabbing remarks at each other.

More time continued. Bean entered second grade at this point, with still no friends. Bean wasn’t as bullying anymore, and now she only bit people if they tried to touch her. But she still was brutally honest with people, nothing could be done about that. She got it from Gaster. Gaster would not hold back his opinions. If you looked stupid, he’d make that very clear.

Sometimes when Sans was busy Gaster or Papyrus would babysit Bean. A few times Toriel would. Bean had grown used to them in her life, but Sans was her favorite. She’d cling to his leg and frown, swatting away people’s attempts to touch her. Only Papyrus and Gaster could hold her, Toriel was still a no go. Undyne tried, but her reflexes had saved her fingers. Alphys didn’t dare.

One day, Papyrus had called Sans in a worry. Apparently the neighbors cat had snuck into his yard when Bean was outside, and well…

Bean watched Sans walk up to her, blood soaking her fingers. He didn’t want to look at the mangled corpse. He knew he was a strong monster with a sense of moral justice, but shit, who killed a cat like that? It looked practically inside out.

“Why’d you kill the cat?” Sans asked quietly, kneeling in front of his daughter.

“I was playing. I wanted to shove candy into it. The kitty wouldn’t eat the candy I gave it so I had to shove it in.” Bean spoke with her usual smile, seeing nothing wrong with what she just did.

“Well you can’t just kill things, honey,” Sans said quietly, cupping her cheek. “Okay?”

She blinked. “I don’t understand. I killed the mice but you didn’t mind before.”

That brought Sans’ attention, and he quickly discovered their house had a mouse problem that Bean apparently took care of. Several small bodies were shoved under her bed, all gruesomely murdered.

Was it normal to be scared of your child's abilities? Sans wasn’t sure. He wasn’t scared of Bean hurting him, he knew he was her favorite, but he was worried about what she could do. Bean clearly didn’t have a grasp of murder, and she didn’t mind killing small rodents and hiding their bodies. She was strong, and got weird abilities. Not only from Sans, but from whoever her other parent was. Weird abilities, weird powers.

They all tried to help her learn. It was a work in progress. What was worrying about the way she killed the cat was that it resembled a famous serial killers method of killing. Dismembered bodies, torn open to shreds, with candy shoved inside. Just a tad bit frightening.

“Do you think you actually had a child with a serial killer?” Toriel asked.

“I don’t think so! I mean, the guy was rough in bed, sure, but I don’t think he was actually a serial killer.”

They searched the web, mostly to ease their suspicions. But when Sans saw a drawing the police got of the killer from a victim who survived, and saw the description, he pointed to it with a shaking finger.

“That sounds a _lot_ like the guy I fucked,” Sans muttered under his breath.

The real kicker was the incident. Late at night, he heard a crash. Some grunts and yells. Someone was breaking in. So he rushed out of his room, magic blaring in his eye socket to protect his daughter, only to discover -

The man was already dead.

The dead body lay in his living room, blood pooling under their body like an ever growing sea of red carpet. Bean had blood dripping from her teeth as she spit out a chunk of his neck, having torn it out with her teeth alone.

“Daddy, he was a meanie, I took care of him,” Bean said.

Sans did nothing but scooped her into a hug, slowly running his hands through his magical hair as he stared at the corpse. He tried not to think about what it meant.

When Undyne came, he told her how the man had broken in, and how Bean had no choice but to defend herself, all while holding her close. She didn’t need comforted, yet held on anyway. Perhaps she could sense Sans’ need for comforting, that’d explain why she held onto the hug so closely.

“You might wanna get her admitted or something, because uh… this isn’t normal,” Undyne had said softly. When Bean held out a piece of candy for Undyne, the monster flinched back from fear.


	3. Chapter 3

Things were a bit weird after that. Sans doubted his life would ever return to a normal, if there was a normal. Because he fucked a serial killer. 

Everyone knew after the incident. They all watched Bean like a hawk. Took her to therapy, tried to help her. And Bean seemed to understand the situation quite fine. She knew what she had done was wrong, but what she said had worried the professionals. 

“He was going to hurt Daddy, that’s why I killed him,” Bean said, shrugging. “Anyone who hurts my Daddy is going to die.”

Everyone tried to be normal around Bean, but knowing her talent of murder was one that made them all take a step back. The news was upon her in an instant, much to Undyne’s attempts to fight back, they reported of his daughter every chance they could. When one person mentioned muzzling Bean when trying to interview him, Sans had turned and punched them square in the face.

Life was more difficult than it had ever been before. The press followed him like a lingering shadow. Psychologists practically had a field day with Bean, studying her every chance they could. Monsters looked at Bean with fear anytime she went outside. And Bean stuck to his side like glue, as she always had done, but this time it was more worrying. After all, who else did she have? Papyrus made excuses to stop seeing her. Alphys jumped back everytime she was near the knife drawer. Undyne almost shoved her down a flight of stairs when Bean looked at her wrong. 

One night, Sans woke up, Bean standing above his bed, staring down at him. He almost screamed from shock. The hundredth time, he’s gotten used to it. 

“Can’t sleep?” Sans asked. 

She’d shake her head. Mutter about liking to watch him sleep. Sans would roll over, with a sigh, and leave it at that. Sometimes she would climb into bed with him. 

Therapists wanted to take Bean away for further study, but Sans declined multiple times. So far, she’s only killed out of self defense, so he still loved her, flaws and all. It wouldn’t even work, since her ability to teleport could just whoosh her back home. 

Sans tried to get the others more involved in Bean’s life again, but that was a futile attempt. Everyone was too scared of her to engage like they did before. She did rip out someone’s throat with her bare teeth, and she had no restraint to murder if she deemed it necessary. And necessary, to her, was hurting Sans. 

Sans found Bean one morning scribbling names into a notebook. Papyrus. Undyne. Toriel’s name was written in a different pen color, along with Karen’s, already dried and more messy than her handwriting currently. She must have written those names ages ago. 

“What are you doing?” Sans asked. 

Bean looked up, smiling sweetly. His little girl. “Making a list.”

“What kind of list?” 

“A list of people who deserve to die. People who’s abandoned you. Alphys is going on next.”

Sans swallowed, thickly, and realized she was practically making a hit list. Of everyone he cared about. 

When the Doctors asked, Sans said no changes, shoving the paper down into the trashcan during the phonecall. 

What was he doing? Lying through his teeth? Bean was definitely messed up in the head, she needed help, yet he was lying because…

Because he didn’t want to see anything happen to her. If they deemed her too much of a threat, they’d do things to her. And he couldn’t bare to see that happen. She was his child, he was going to take care of her. 

“Are you going to teach me how to be good again?” Bean asked when Sans sat her down at the table one day. 

“No,” Sans said, smiling softly. “I dunno whatever genetics your Father gave you, but uh… it’s clear we can’t move pass that. So I’m going to teach you a trick I know pretty well.” He pointed to his face. “Lying.”

Sans spent the entire summer teaching Bean how to pass by more normally. How to hide her bloodlust. So she could go to school, make friends, without fearing being lonely. At this point, Sans would take what he could. Bean wasn’t suddenly going to become good, so while he and her would work on that at home, she could pass as good to the public. So they wouldn’t get seperated. 

No one visited. The only one he actually let into his house to see Bean was Gaster, who had a legitimate reason for not showing during these times. Hefty experiments that dragged on for awhile always did make seeing Gaster difficult. 

“An online job, huh?” Gaster asked. 

He was the only person Sans felt confident in to talk to. Gaster wouldn’t care if Bean killed one person, or a hundred. She was young, she still had a lot to learn. 

“Yeah, to pay the bills,” Sans admitted tiredly. “And Bean’s doing good. I mean, she understands logically why killing is wrong, but doesn’t seem to emotionally connect to that. She only knows killing is wrong because I told her, but if she deems something dangerous to me or our lives together, she’ll ignore the laws and deem them to be dead.”

Bean, in the backyard, chased after a butterfly. It landed on her nose, and she giggled loudly. 

“She isn’t killing it,” Gaster said, face shocked. Bean had a habit of killing bugs in their yard. Many ant hills were ruined by her little destructive feet.

“I’ve taught her how to pretend things, so she doesn’t go trying to kill everyone who gets near her anymore,” Sans said, “And she doesn’t outright say she wants to kill people, either. But it’s that sense of connection that baffles the Doctors. She doesn’t have empathy, apparently. None at all. She’s already classified as a psychopath. If she could form more emotional connections, they said she’d get better. But she can’t form them because of how everyone treats her.”

“How many connections does she have?” Gaster asked. 

“Me and you. That’s it.” Sans tapped his fingers against his cheekbone. “The Docs said that if she formed more bonds, then she’d have more people to depend on. That’s why she’s so protective of me, since we have a bond due to the soul birth. I don’t think that’s ever going away. And she likes you because you take care of me.”

“What about Papyrus?” Gaster asked, “What does she think of him?”

“She hates him. Said he’s a terrible Uncle. And he hasn’t exactly been good to her, recently. She hasn’t seen him in six months, he hasn’t even called.”

“Perhaps I could help with that.”

The lying from Bean seemed to work. She wasn’t too great at lying, so Sans had taught her to simply try and keep her mouth shut more often. Sans managed to get her to behave so much that she was no longer under constant supervision, only having weekly Doctor visits. He’d take it. Bean still sometimes made threats, but they were mostly to Sans under the safety of their house. Not about Sans, she’d never hurt him, but about other people. 

“Why don’t you ever try to visit Bean?” Sans asked Papyrus, “She’d getting better!”

“I don’t -”

“Papyrus, she won’t hurt you if I’m there,” Sans said.

“No, Sans, I promise I will! I’ve just been busy! So busy that I haven’t gotten any breaks at all. Nyeh.”

Sas narrowed his gaze at the wall, fingers clutched around his phone. “You visited Toriel’s kids last weekend, and the one before that. She told me.”

A moment of silence, before beeping. Papyrus hung up on him. 

Sans didn’t want to blame any of them. Bean was classified as a psychopath, of course they were scared of her. But still, his soul quenched, and his hand shook from anger. 

He said he’d help Sans, that he’d be here for him. Where was Papyrus now? Where was everyone when he needed them the most?

Bean officially had been moved from her weekly visits to monthly one’s, and was deemed fit enough to go back to school. Sans taught her more, though, knowing she was just faking it to the Doctors. Taught her to make friends, to only kill if needed. It’s not like he hasn’t before. 

“Grandpa, I’m going to school next week!” Bean said excitedly, backpack on her shoulders. 

“I know, and I’m so proud of you!” Gaster had said, patting her head. 

Hearing that Bean was deemed safer than every before, finally did the others decide to finally try and visit her. Key word tried. 

“Hey Bean, your Uncle is here!” Sans said, walking into the kitchen with Papyrus behind him. 

“Okay.” Bean no movement, simply continuing to wrap her homemade candies. 

“Don’t you want to say hi, go talk to him? Play?” Sans asked. 

“No.” Bean looked up at Papyrus with narrowed eyes. “He’s just some bum that’s related to me. He doesn’t get to pick and choose when to be my Uncle.”

Bean hated them. They did abandon her during her Doctor visits after all, the time when she was the most lonely, so it made sense. Papyrus tried to bond with her, but it was clear the line was already drawn. He never would cross that boundary again, he’s become too distant to hope to become close to her again. Sans didn’t judge her choice, or try to pressure her to bond when she simply didn’t want to. He ignored Papyrus’ sad face and just asked him to leave. At least Papyrus understood. It was a sticky situation, really.

It wasn’t like they completely abandoned them, so Sans couldn’t find it within himself to hate any of them. Toriel still gave him parental advice for the future, Papyrus still helped with money, and Undyne spent a lot of time keeping the press at bay whenever possible. But when it came to actually seeing Bean, that’s when they all scattered before. They just didn’t want to get hurt. 

But leaving her like that had decimated any connections they had previously formed. Bean didn’t like any of them but Gaster, the only one that stuck with her and still visited. Undyne was called one eyed turd, Alphys was who Bean just ignored, Toriel got low voiced insults about her teaching skills, and Papyrus was no longer the cool Uncle he always wanted to be. 

Undyne was the most cool about it. She took it was a slow nod, acknowledging that Bean’s emotions were entirely justified. Toriel was the one who couldn’t handle it. Perhaps because she was always surrounded by adoring children, or that Sans was her closest friend, but Bean not liking her sat wrong with Toriel. 

She visited almost daily, trying to offer Bean pies and sweets to earn her love, but Bean declined them. Bean was even nice about it at first, but her low patience was stretched thin by Toriel’s constant insistance.

“I don’t want pie.”

“But,” Toriel had pressed on, offering a slice, “Don’t you like pie?”

Bean gnawed on her pencil, glaring at Toriel. “I do.” She snapped. “I just don’t like your pie.”

A sensitive spot, for Toriel, as pies were her pride and joy. A double blow, as if had come from a child of which she cared about. She sputtered, pie dropping to the floor, before Bean grumbled for guests to clean up their messes. Bean did not like her the most.

“The audacity of that child!” Toriel huffed, wiping her paws onto her apron. “Everyone loves my pies!”

“I dunno what to say, you’ve been pushing her a lot lately,” Sans said, “Yer might wanna ease off.”

“No, no, I missed so much time with her, I have to connect,” Toriel said. 

“And you had that chance, but gave it up because you were scared of her. I know she was dangerous, but Bean doesn’t see it that way, she sees you as someone who left her in the mud when she was at her lowest. I don’t think you’re ever getting that back.”

Toriel didn’t listen, too busy muttering about her pie to notice.

That few months was definitely the most awkward. A lot of people had a lot to work on. Bean never fully forgave them, never fully grew to love them like she did Gaster and Sans, but she tolerated them after months of hardship. Toriel was the only one she still didn’t like very much. Bean went to middle school with her, so being stuck with Toriel was obviously a cause for more hatred. She got by, though. 

“Hey Dad,” Bean said, pulling at Sans’ hand. “I want a family.”

“You already got one,” Sans said, making her lunch for the next day. “And we already talked about this, you aren’t replacing Toriel with someone else, if you’re talking about my friends.”

“I don’t like her, she has a crush on you,” Bean said. 

“Wait, what?” Sans turned, confused. 

“She does. She said she wanted you to be the Dad of her kids, she’s just trying to be nice to me to get to you.” Bean chewed on a twizzler. “Toriel keeps trying to talk to me just to win you over, said she wants me to have a full family.”

“Would you want her to be your Mother?” Sans asked. 

Did Toriel actually have a crush on him? Bean wouldn’t lie to him. Crap. He never really saw her that way, and that wouldn’t change. He was more of a cool Dunkle to Frisk, he didn’t want to be their Dad, much less be a Dad to Asriel and Chara. 

“No,” Bean said, “I want another Dad. I want the Dad that’s related to me.”

“Sorry kiddo, I don’t know where he is,” Sans said. 

Time continued, and Bean entered high school soon. She even made friends, something Sans was rather happy about. A few, sure, but friends. Brothers, Jeff and Liu, both having brown hair. Nice kids, had a good bond together. It reminded him of Papyrus and himself. Sure, their relationship got a little bit iffy with the distance, but they managed to overcome that awhile ago. Bean played video games with them, went out to parks, and they all had a fun time together. They came over quite often, and Sans saw quite quickly that their parents weren’t very involved in their lives. He said they could come over whenever. 

Everything went on smoothly for awhile. Bean understood empathy much more now, as she had more friends, though she often couldn’t process it. Only when it came to the select few she liked did her empathy spark. Sans, Gaster, Undyne, Lui, and Jeff. Papyrus was close to being the sixth on the list. Toriel was still on the hit list. 

For dances, Liu and Jeff would come over and shoot paintball guns at targets with Bean instead of going to the school. Sans let them. Honestly, Bean was good with weapons, so she managed to keep them from accidentally hurting themselves. She was good with lots of weapons, and poisons, too. A bit worrying, but she never put it into practical use, so he chose to ignore it. 

Bean was protective of him, like always. That’d never change, it seemed. He knew very well that Bean would create distractions so Sans wouldn’t go hang out with Toriel, but he didn’t mind very much. Bean was a kid, she needed his attention more than Toriel did. And it wasn’t like she could stop him from texting Toriel anyway. 

The confession was unexpected. Sans thought of Toriel like a friend, but loving her was out of the question. No. He didn’t find her curves very appealing, wasn’t even a boob guy, so her features that caused Asgore to soar into fantasy heaven just made Sans coil away from any sort of hug. He was bi, but Toriel was just not his type. At all. 

“Sorry, uh, thanks for the compliments,” Sans said, carefully pushing away Toriel from the attempted kiss she tried. “But I’m not interested. You’re a good friend, sorry to have to friendzone ya, but I’m not looking to date you. Sorry if I mislead you.”

“B-But I -” Toriel stuttered on her words, lips pressed in shock. “Is this because of Bean?”

“No, I’m just not interested in you.” Sans tried not to push her away more than she already was. “And I’m not going to lie about my interest in you just because you brought yer kids here.”

Sans had no idea what was going through her head when she made that stupid choice. Who brought their kids to a confession? They were no longer kids, having now moved onto college, but she dragged them all back for whatever reason. 

“But -”

“Mom, he turned you down,” Chara said, leaning against their fist at the counter. “I know, it sucks, but let’s just go get ice cream or something.”

“Ice cream?” Bean stuck her head in through a doorframe. She was totally spying in on the conversation.

“Yeah, I’ll drive.” Chara picked up her keys. “C’mon.”

Chara was added to the protection list. Bean really liked them. Probably because they had a habit of blowing money on junk food. Probably. 

“Sorry Tor, but it isn’t going to happen. We’ll find different people,” Sans said. 

Bean was very adamant about Sans dating her biological Father. She claimed to have met him briefly, and intended to find him again. Sans tried to shut this down often. The guy was a serial killer, likely, so he didn’t want her to have that type of influence. Bean made so much progress, he didn’t want to turn back now. 

Eventually, though, he had to go no contact with Toriel after she harassed Bean to change her Father’s mind in school. Bean hadn’t told Sans until Jeff brought it up, but there was a lot of witnesses and camera footage of Toriel pressuring Bean to try and get Sans to go out with her. So, instead of trying to convince Bean not to go find her other Father, he was busy dealing with this woman. Thankfully everyone was on Sans’ side, even her own children, all annoyed at her instance at something that wasn’t going to happen. She must have been so confident in a yes that the answer she got shook her down to her core. Toriel became convinced that it wasn’t Sans who said no, but instead it was Bean that told Sans not to date her. 

Annoying, to say the least. 

Perhaps that was why Bean was so adamant about finding her Father. So Sans wouldn’t be single anymore and so Toriel couldn’t try to get with him. She didn’t have to worry about Toriel, the woman had sealed her fate with how she reacted, so Sans would never go out with her. 

However, he didn’t actually anticipate her finding her real Father. 


	4. Chapter 4

It started out small. Casual mentions of going out to meet someone, asking for a second phone, mentioning a full family to her few friends. Sans waved it off. He waved off a lot of things she said or did. It was Bean, after all. She did a lot of weird things. Somehow she even managed to start a religion with her as the god. No, he was serious, it had become a problem. So Bean doing weird things was quite normal for her. 

Though Sans started noticing things following him. Windows open when he closed them. Something moving in the corner of his vision. A sudden cold spot of air. The moment he noticed these things, he went immediately to Bean and asked if she summoned a demon or evil spirit with her friends using that weird board.

He just had to make sure. _Just_ had to make sure. 

Bean sometimes still came in and watched him sleep from night to night. It was freaky at first, but he grew detached after so many years of it. Now he could sleep right through someone watching him. Bean said she just liked it, liked knowing he was sleeping, so he let her do whatever. Sans had to tolerate a lot of things being her parent. She didn’t lunge at strangers with her teeth anymore, so he called it a win, honestly. 

So when he felt someone watching him, he was used to it. Even felt a brush of a claw against his skull, with some murmured muttering. Softened voices. Saying things about him. Sans didn’t bother to process it. Just rolled over and told Bean, sleepily, to go have a sleepover with her friends without involving them in her usual stalking habit. 

After that incident, Bean suddenly started to pry into Sans’ love life. Asked him his preferences in people. If he went on any dates lately. Was this a hint to show how single he was? Ouch. Harsh, but yeah, he hadn’t gone on a date since the one nighter that made Bean, so he wasn’t exactly fond of bouncing back into that scene again.

But then Bean started to get persistent. Real persistent. And she was never really hidden about her intentions, either. 

“I think you should date a certain type,” Bean said. 

“Hm?” Sans asked, spaghetti halfway scooped onto his fork. 

“A clown type,” Bean said, blinking to try and feign innocence. “A clown type that’s tall and wears grey. That you had sex with seveteen years ago and kills people. That type.” She blinked again. “Or something like that.”

She was decent at hiding herself from her classmates, but lying to Sans did not come naturally to her. She tried, sure, but it was painfully obvious. 

“Did you meet him?” Sans asked slowly. 

She looked to the side. “Noooo…”

Sans sighed. Honestly, he had long since anticipated this. When your kid is as crazy as a serial killer, and her parent was one, it’d make sense either she or he would try to find one another. 

“When did you guys meet?” Sans asked. 

“A month ago…” Bean pressed her teeth together, folding a piece of candy between her fingers. 

“How come you want me to meet him so bad?” Sans asked. 

Having lived with her, Sans was long since dulled to the idea of being with a serial killer. A sad but true fact. Hearing another might be coming into his life wasn’t very shocking. 

“I want another Dad,” Bean said, “He makes candy just like me and can go into his own little world just like me as well! Dad, he’s awesome, and he kills people and -”

“Bean.”

“ - And it’s wrong -” Bean quickly corrected herself from slipping, sticking up a finger. “Butttttt… everyone needs a full family. Jeff! Liu!”

The two teenage boys burst into the kitchen, having been hiding inside of the living room the entire dinner. Oh lord, what were they up to this time?

Bean used her magic to create a blue bowtie, moving to stand in front of the projector the boys were setting up. 

“You made a presentation to why I should date the serial killer?” Sans asked, leaning back on his arms. 

“Yup!” Bean said. 

“So you made this instead of doing yer english project.”

Bean frowned at him. “Shut up, Dad, I’ll do it!”

Grades were not her strong suit. At best, Bean went through her courses with a C. Once an A in math, though Sans had a suspicion she might have blackmailed her teacher. Or plain threatened her. Honestly, Sans failed English as well, couldn’t blame her. He had points taken off for his essay font, even though the font was literally his handwriting? Gaster had a field day complaining about that, threatening for the Royal Scientist to withdraw the Kingdom’s funding for the school unless the grade was corrected. Good times. 

“Do you really want me to meet your other Dad that much?” Sans asked. 

“Yeah,” Bean admitted.

“Then fine.”

Bean blinked a few times, tilting her head to the side. “You’re actually going to do it? Do something that I want?” Bean asked to clarify. 

“I already gave birth to a little serial killer, might as well deal with another.”

Bean giggled, happily, then glanced over at the two boys, who had set up her presentation. “Aw man, I actually did something for once and now there’s no point! I could have just killed -”

“Bean.”

“Baked cookies for people!” Bean saved herself, cupping her hands together. 

“Do you wanna show your presentation anyway?”

“Yes please.”

And so, Sans agreed to meet the Dad.

Of course Bean went behind his back and met him. Anything that had to do with murder she was interested inside of. Bean was surely chaotic for a teenager. 

He wasn’t told when he was going to meet him, though, as Bean apparently took it upon herself. By bringing him home while Sans was asleep. So Sans woke up, groggy and tired, to see two clown face staring at him from only inches away. 

“Hi Dad!” Bean had said, “I brought my other Dad back!”

“... great,” Sans muttered, rolling over. “Wake me up in ten minutes.”

When he was awake for real, he met the man, who was just like how Sans remembered. Tall, loud, creepy with an odd sort of attraction that drew Sans in. He was a lot like Bean. Killy, psychotic, obsessed with candy. But he was still as hot as Sans remembered. They talked for the day, and gradually got to know one another. 

Laughing Jack didn’t leave. At all. Probably because he was a serial killer and didn’t have anywhere to go. Or maybe because Bean was threatening him. Both were very plausible options given their circumstances. Gaster had walked in to find Laughing Jack, so hiding him wasn’t really an option. Sans had to explain to his family and friends, with the clown lingering behind him, what was going on. Bean wanted a full family, so they were going to date for awhile and see how it went. And yes, that meant living with a serial killer. As if he hadn’t already. 

Everyone was surprisingly okay with this. After all, they dealt with Bean for her entire life, so adding another only made sense. The clown mad was an odd addition, but one that was nice. He acted like Bean’s Father, packing her lunch, hanging out with her, simple things parents did. He and Sans got along rather nicely, it didn’t take long before Sans remembered why he wanted a one nighter with this guy. 

He was weird. A nice weird, though. Insane, but Sans was well past knowing that. And hey, Laughing Jack helped deal with Bean, and anyone who did that was worth at least one date. One date turned to two, then three, then four. They ended up chilling on the couch together, sometimes flirted, and once even slept in the same bed together. 

Sans didn’t mind involving the Dad inside of their life. Honestly, he was a big help, and took a lot of stress from Sans’ back. He was kinda hot, too, so Sans had some eye candy to enjoy. Definitely hot in an unusual clown way. 

They started to make out a few times. The first time on the couch. No too much, just tongue, until Bean had walked in and said, loudly, “Finally!” that made Sans push back with a blush.

They became a family. Granted, a weird one, but a family anyway. Laughing Jack connected to Sans, calling him his little potato and snuggling with him. They ate dinner as a family, played games, and generally hung out. It was nice. As nice as it could get. When Sans woke up one night, he found both Laughing Jack and Bean watching him sleep. Huh. So that’s where she got it from. 

Time pressed on, and Sans officially started dating the serial killer with the agreement he wouldn't kill people unless needed. A family, just as Bean wanted.

“I’m going out!” Bean called, Jeff and Liu greeting Sans and Jack before they went to leave. 

“Okay, bye kiddo!” Sans said, one of Jack’s arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“While I’m gone, can you guys make me a little sister?” Bean asked. 

Without thinking, Sans hummed out a “Sure thing” before the door closed. Only after it shut did Sans realize what she had asked, looking over at Jack with a blush as the clown wiggled his eyebrows.

“Well, let’s get to it!” He giggled. 

Oh lord, not again.


End file.
